


To Be Alive Right Now

by DaughterOfKings



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post 5X13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfKings/pseuds/DaughterOfKings
Summary: She’s still furious at him for for thinking it would be better for her not to have this. For thinking he gets to make that call.





	To Be Alive Right Now

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [That Would Be Enough](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017284) by [SkylandMountain1013](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylandMountain1013/pseuds/SkylandMountain1013). 



> 1) So this is my first AoS fic, and SkylandMountain1013 made me do it... Basically, this is the morning after _That Would Be Enough_. You can read this one without having read that one, but that one is amazing, so you totally should go read it. I'll wait. 
> 
> 2) Good? Okay. Title is, of course, taken from _Hamilton_.

Melinda wakes up, and immediately listens for the sound of Phil’s breathing. She shifts the arm he flung over her during the night so that she can press her fingers to the pulse point in his wrist. She barely realizes she’s doing it before it’s done, and when it hits her she squeezes her eyes shut against a sudden sting. She must squeeze Phil’s wrist, too, because he makes an indistinct noise and pulls away from her. He rolls onto his back, sighs softly, but doesn’t wake.

She wonders how much time will go by before the first thing she does in the morning isn’t making sure that he’s still alive.

It hurts- _Oh, God, it hurts_ \- but she knew it would. At least, this way, there will be no more missed moments between them. This way, she’ll get to know he’s there right up until he isn’t.

She’s still furious at him for thinking it would be better for her not to have this. For thinking he gets to make that call. But she forces herself to breathe slowly- in through the nose, out through the mouth- to calm herself down. She doesn’t want to wake him up for a fight, not when she knows he’s exhausted.

 _He’s exhausted because he’s dying_ , she thinks. Can’t help thinking.

She shoves the thought to the back of her mind. She’s exhausted, too- they all are- and if she could, she’d close her eyes and sleep until the weight pressing on her temples and constricting her ribcage eases. But she can’t, and it won’t, and all she can do is make sure it doesn’t show. The team’s already watching her almost as closely as they’re watching Phil.

She hears him stir, and takes a moment to gather herself before turning towards him.

He looks at her through half-open eyes. “Hi,” he says.

She manages a small smile. “Hi.”

The smile doesn’t hide her mood from him- and she hadn’t expected it to- but he knows better than to ask her if she wants to talk. Enough was said between them last night. Instead, he says, “Lots of things to do today.”

“Just one thing,” she answers dryly. “Save the world.”

“That,” he agrees. “Should we get started?”

She shifts so that her head is against his chest, over his heart, and says, “We have time.”

It’s not enough- it could never be enough- but she’s going to take this moment and hold onto it for as long as she can.


End file.
